Our second story in the Changemaker Highlight Series, features Coach Zara, founder of Muhsinah Coaching where she coaches Muslim women with a holistic, whole woman approach – so that they can attain a level of excellence ‘Muhsineen’.
On this episode, she shares her reflections as founder of a personal development platform with the vision of seeing believing women become the standard, not the exception. We speak about self-worth, detaching from hustle culture, and leading change without compromising your beliefs. With wisdom coming from her Islamic identity and real life experiences, Zara shares what keeps her grounded, why legacy matters and how every step counts in a changemaker’s journey.
Listen to this episode on Spotify:
Who is Zara?
Coach Zara is the founder of Muhsinah Coaching, where the focus is on Personal and Spiritual Development in line with the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah.
Her mission is for Muslims to not only reform but to also excel. She believes returning back to the deen is the only way for our ummah to prosper in this life and the next and believes it starts with us women!
Connect with Zara:
Watch her Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@MuhsinahCoaching
Find all of her resources: https://linktr.ee/muhsinahcoaching
Read the transcript below:
Note: The transcript has been edited to improve reading flow.
Ruqayyah:
Assalaamu alaykum and hey. Today we are joined by Zara, founder of Muhsinah Coaching where she coaches Muslim women for their personal development and focuses on the whole wellness of a woman. Thank you for being here Zahra, tell us a bit about what you do.
Coach Zara:
Alhamdulillah you’ve introduced me, that is me. I’m coach Zahra, I am the founder of Muhsinah Coaching as you mentioned and alhamdulillah I am all about empowering Muslim women because I believe that alhamdulillah Allah has blessed us with everything that we need, but a lot of the time we don’t know how to implement it into our lives. I focus on bringing the Qur’an and the Sunnah as the source of our personal development because that is all we need.
Ruqayyah:
Very special message that you’re sharing, it’s not something that you hear a lot in terms of business building or coaching. What would you say led you to this work and going down this path?
Coach Zara:
I went through a difficult period in my life and when you’re in that dark space you’re looking for a way out right, you’re looking for a way out and you want to be able to help yourself out of that dark place. I was looking at personal development, doing different personal development courses and I realised that, alhamdulillah, even though they’ve got their benefits, I realised that subhanAllah a lot of it has got a lot of shirk involved, a lot of it is all about the self, nafsi nafsi, focusing on you being your own creator.
I understand the concept of where they’re trying to go because they don’t believe in Allah of course they’re going to say this stuff but we as Muslims we believe in Allah we know that we are not the creator of our, we are not the creator of our own lives. Doing the personal development I benefited from it but I could never tell someone else that’s going through a dark period do this do this because it leads to shirk. Alhamdulillah I had a background in Quran because I had done a course in Quran, Ta’leem ul Quran where we did the tafsir of the Quran I could not promote certain things to people and say do this course or do that programme knowing that it leads to shirk.
Alhamdulillah I was in a position where I was able to filter out what was falsehood and what was truth because I had that background of Quran but there’s many people that don’t have that background of the Qur’an they cannot filter out what’s truth and what’s falsehood this led me to think subhanAllah I have knowledge of Qur’an and I also have knowledge of personal development and I also trained to be a coach it made sense for me to put it all together and then be able to help sisters to be able to empower themselves and take themselves out of those dark places but with the light of the Quran and the sunnah.
Ruqayyah:
Beautiful story subhanAllah I love that you shared about the background of Qur’an because it’s easy to take for granted how much that foundational knowledge can assist you in life, especially in these times where the culture has shifted to entertainment more than enlightenment in general. Even amongst the ummah, we’re missing those foundations and key knowledge that you said helps you to differentiate, “what should I take from this and what shouldn’t I?”.
Coach Zara:
And when you don’t know you’re going to go with anything that’s helped you, do you understand? If you don’t have that knowledge from before, from previously, let’s say you see a video on YouTube and it’s talking about manifesting and do this and do this and you manifest your dream life – if you have no background in Islam you have no solid foundation in your Qur’an or in your Tawhid, then you’re gonna listen to this video and you’re gonna follow it you’re gonna follow what they’re telling you to do because you’re gonna think this is gonna change my life and this is amazing for me because you have been in that dark place and this doing these things has taken you out of that dark places and put you in a good place you think that is something good when in reality this is shaitan’s trickery there’s the example of money you could have money by doing something legit or you could have money by stealing you’re still going to have the money at the end of the day you’re still going to be able to buy what you’re going to buy but one way is correct and one way isn’t one way is lawful and one way is harmful one way is going to get you to Jannah and one way is going to take you to Jahannam it’s a serious thing but we’re not taking it seriously or we don’t even know we don’t even know how can we even take it seriously yeah that’s a big point
Ruqayyah:
Big point subhanallah. In Muhsinah Coaching, I know you’ve already spoken about Qur’an and sunnah being everything and the importance of showing those examples of success in full obedience to Allah in your coaching. What is the main problem that you’re solving? What’s the thing that calls you to specifically become a coach for Muslim women in focusing on the whole wellness of a woman, and how are you approaching that differently from others that are maybe doing similar work?
Coach Zara:
The main problem that I’m solving is women’s self-worth. I think women have a very, very low self-worth. There’s only a handful of women that feel worthy and love themselves for the sake of Allah.
They’re doing all this external stuff but the real sense of self-worth comes from character building, it comes from your inner state, it comes from who you are and not what you have. this is the main focus of the work. It’s getting women to understand that they are valuable, letting them know their worth and truly believing in their worth because that’s the bottom line. That’s the thing that’s going to change everything
You can do everything that you want to do externally and you’re still going to feel rubbish inside, because you haven’t worked on the actual issues. You haven’t worked on healing whatever it is that you need to heal. You haven’t worked on your internal state, you haven’t worked on your spiritual connection with Allah, you haven’t worked on your physical well-being, you haven’t worked on your mental state and we are holistic human beings.
Everything needs to fall in alignment in order for us to be at our best.
Ruqayyah:
Definitely, that’s a very big mission and you said two things that I loved. You said firstly, loving yourself for the sake of Allah, I can’t say that I’ve ever heard it said in that way before. Could you elaborate on what that looks like?
Coach Zara:
Loving yourself for the sake of Allah is deep because when we say love yourself, love yourself is very cliche and a lot of this love yourself is about going to get your nails done, going to get your hair done.
All of this stuff is beautiful, don’t get me wrong. I think as women it’s something that, especially as believing women, something that we do neglect. We have to find the balance right, but when you love yourself for the sake of Allah it’s, “I’m doing my hair because Allah gave me this hair”, and I’m showing I’m doing it and taking care of it as an expression of gratitude to Allah.
I’m going to wash myself and be clean because Allah loves those who are clean and pure.
I’m going to be kind and nice to myself, because Allah has made oppression forbidden. He’s forbidden it on Himself, why am I going to oppress my own self and be horrible to myself and say bad things to myself in my mind when Allah has forbidden oppression on His own self? Why would I have this negative self-talk?
When you love yourself for the sake of Allah, it’s that sometimes when you’re lazy and you don’t even feel doing anything, sometimes you want to give up, but then when you remember that, “Allah that gave me all of this, I’m going to love myself for His sake”.
It’s, even those days when you don’t feel doing anything, you’re going to push yourself and be motivated because you’re remembering Allah. You’re remembering the bigger picture. Everything that you have is not because you have it, it’s because Allah gave it to you.
For you to express that gratitude, you have to use it to please him. How do you use it to please Him? You take care of what you have. Use the blessings that He’s given you.
A lot of the time when we become practising, we neglect certain aspects of who we are especially dressing nicely and taking care of our appearance, all of these things we neglect. Especially when you become a mother, when you become busy, when life changes – you neglect that whole aspect of who you are.
But that is also a part of who you are. It’s not just about internal it’s also about your external and you have to take care of this in order to be holistically well and to have that holistic wellness, holistic well-being. When you take care of yourself as a woman then you’re going to be able to take care of your children you’re going to be able to take care of your spouse. You’re going to be able to take care of your family and branch out further and further and further.
But when you’re neglecting yourself, everything that you do is going to be with a heavy heart and a grudge. Everything that you do is going to be with anger or criticism or you’re complaining because you’re neglecting your own self.
Allah has given you a body, that body is the house of your soul. You need to take care of it. Nobody wants to live in a nasty house. Everybody wants to live in a house that’s beautiful, right? What about your own soul? You think it’s going to be comfortable living in your body when you’re treating your body bad?
That’s loving yourself for the sake of Allah. It’s that you have to start looking at things from a different angle. You have to start looking at things as “SubhanAllah, Allah has blessed me with this, I need to take care of it”. And it’s not easy, especially when you’ve got much on your head, especially as mothers, and especially if you’re a single mother, it’s not easy at all. But that’s where you’re going to see the change.
When you start putting yourself as number one, when you start prioritising yourself. And when I say putting yourself as number one, it’s always going to be Allah first, and it’s always going to be the Messenger, second. But when I say number one, you have to come third. After you’ve put Allah first and the Messenger, you have to also put yourself there. Prioritise yourself.
Ruqayyah:
Many things I’d love to respond to, but the example of the soul being in the body, taking care of it, I think that was a profound one. And also, I love how you compared it with neglecting of the self, compared to loving yourself for the sake of Allah. And again, I think that’s a unique way to approach coaching for Muslim women, because the things that you’ve said about focusing too much on the exterior, yeah, I see that a lot.
You also mentioned that it’s not (only) about the interior, it’s a balance of both. I feel it totally captures your approach of the wellness of the whole woman, or the whole wellness and the holisticness of what you’re teaching is definitely coming through. Can you share a moment where you’ve seen the direct impact of your work that made you feel, “this is why I do this work”?
Coach Zara:
Yesterday I was on YouTube and I saw a comment that somebody left under one of my videos, they were about to follow that same path of content creators that do tabarruj and stuff like this. And she was saying that I reminded her to stay grounded. And subhanAllah for me, this is what it’s all about.
When you’re reminding people of Allah, and you make them think before they act. They’re going to follow what is the mainstream and what is being put out there. And just from a little message that I put out there, it made her reflect on what she’s doing and become grounded, remembering that life is a test, Allah’s testing you with what you’ve got. Little things like this, these are the things that make it all worthwhile.
Ruqayyah:
It’s a live example, isn’t it. Alhamdulillah, that your message is getting across, and it’s getting across in the way that you want it to. I think that’s a profound thing, when we’re talking about change making and doing things differently, but still finding, I don’t want to say success, because when you picture success it’s when you’ve reached a peak, right? There’s nothing after that. Knowing that it actually works for people and your idea is effectively getting across, it’s effectively touching hearts, it’s effectively making that change. That’s something that, for anyone that is listening to this podcast as well, would hope is happening in their own work.
That leads me to ask you, how do you measure success, beyond the mainstream, beyond those traditional metrics?
Coach Zara:
My whole thought process behind success is very different to many people, because I can never say that I’m successful in this dunya, because for me, I’m never going to know until I stand in front of Allah, that’s when I will know if I’m successful or not. For me, success is making sure that I’ve done what I needed to do, and asking Allah to accept it from me. That is success for me.
It’s not the conventional metrics that people judge by. I know when you’re doing your work, and sometimes you’re not getting a level of, maybe clients, or maybe you’re not getting as much money as you want, or as much views on your videos. But all of this, for me, these are not the things that I measure my success by.
Because I know that what Allah’s going to judge me by is my intention, and He’s going to judge me by my consistency. He’s going to judge me by me showing up. that’s what I’m going to focus on. And whatever happens, whatever results I get, then that’s what Allah has decreed for me. That’s how I see it. the results for me in the dunya has never been my driving force.
It’s not something that I’ve ever looked at as success. I know it’s got its good points, it’s got its bad points. For me, the dunya has never been something that I’m aspiring for.
Alhamdulillah, this is how Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala / Glorified and Exalted be He) has created me, and I recognise that. Even when I was in school, my school days, I didn’t have that sense of, “I want this, and I want this,” that’s going to push me. I never had anything that’s going to push me to want to strive.
But when I learned about Akhirah (the hereafter), and I learned about Jannah (paradise), and I learned that there’s a place called Jannah, and that you can go there, and you’re going to see Allah, that’s what motivates me, that’s what gave me my drive, that’s what made me want to push myself.
I’m not going to see the success that, I don’t know how to explain what I’m trying to say. But the level that I’m searching for, and I’m seeking, it’s not something that I can see in this world, if that makes sense.
Ruqayyah:
Yeah, it’s the opposite of the hustle culture, right? I’d love to hear more from you on that, because the simple idea of letting go of what results you’re getting, right. You’re in business, coaching but you’ve gone the business route, and it’s about getting those clients in. How do you feel you have been able to, or how others can detach from striving for, hustling for as much as possible? Because I think when you’re passionate about what you’re doing, it could be easier to fall into that mentality. Because it might not even be motivated by, “I want wealth for myself,” but it could even be motivated by the fact that I want more people to know about this. So, from all different angles, how can we get that grounding and detach from those results?
What do you have to share about that?
Coach Zara:
Because we’re insaan (humans), we’re humans, we’re going to naturally want. We want money. Of course, I’m not going to ever sit here and say I don’t want money. Of course, I want money. I will put my hands up and say I want money. I want to live a good life. I want my children to have a good life. I want to be able to provide for them. Do you understand? Also, I want my message to get out there.
I want more people to hear what I have to say. But at the end of the day, I know that’s not in my control, I have to focus on what is in my control, because I believe in Allah, I believe that my rizq was decreed 50,000 years before the heavens and the earth was even created. That’s not in my control, but what is in my control is me showing up.
What is in my control is me putting out my message. What is in my control is me letting people know about my services. They can ask, I want a coach, or they can join my courses.
Do you understand? That’s in my control, that’s what I’m going to focus on, and whatever the result is, I’m still going to be happy. If I got a client today, or if I didn’t get a client today, I’m still going to be in a state of gratitude because I know that this is what Allah has decreed for me for this day.
Ruqayyah:
I love how you mentioned the control factor. I think that’s definitely something relatable, being able to let go of the fact that, you said, it’s about knowing that there’s an All Powerful, and that’s not you, right? The reason I wanted you to elaborate on that is because when you’re in the business of building a business, you’re surrounded by those advices that push the idea that you are in control of your results, you are in control of the metrics.
“If you do this, if you buy this, if you get this service, you will have this,” it can be difficult to navigate when we would like to see growth, to be able to reach people.
Coach Zara:
Something else I wanted to add is that you need to have yaqeen (certainty), you need to have certainty that what you’re asking Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) for is going to happen. Maybe it’s not going to happen the day that you want it to happen, but you’ve asked, and you need to know that when you ask, Allah responds. But when we don’t get a client one day, we don’t get a client on the second day, we don’t get a client on the third day, we let the doubts come in, and it starts making us be shaky.
You need to stand in your vision, you need to stay focused, you need to understand that, okay, I didn’t get clients this week, but the client is coming because I’ve asked Allah, and you need to have that certainty that the client is going to come.
I think that’s where we shake and waver, we don’t have that true tawakul (trust), when we’re in these states. We have to ask Allah, “give me that yaqeen, give me that tawakul, give me that istiqama (steadfastness), give me that certainty in you, make me trust you, make me have that steadfastness to keep going even though I’m not seeing the results”.
Ruqayyah:
Yes, definitely, it’s about going inside, isn’t it. That’s definitely something I’ve experienced a lot of times, subhanAllah, you make dua, and then, it could be in a time where you don’t even expect it, but then, wow, you realise Allah heard me, and I’m living that dua, I’m living it now.
Coach Zara:
Same, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about starting a business, and entrepreneurship. It makes you realise that you are not in control, and it’s Allah that’s in control, and it develops that relationship with Allah. Allah, “I’m faqir (poor), and you are ghani (rich). I’m weak, I’m poor, you’re rich,” it develops your relationship with Allah. You start to realise that no matter what I do, if Allah doesn’t decree something for me, it’s not going to happen. It makes you turn to Allah, it makes you humble yourself, it makes you submit. All of this is a beautiful character development, it’s part of character development, and I find it beautiful. I don’t think you can get that with a 9-5, when your income is going to come at the end of the month, it doesn’t give you that same spark, and that same level of trust, and devotion in your worship. Because (in entrepreneurship) you realise that it’s Allah that provides for me.
Ruqayyah:
I want to ask you, in terms of how you’re showing up in your work, I know that you are taking a unique path in regards to your marketing and where you’re building your community. I’d love to know, what’s a belief or philosophy that specifically guides how you show up for Muhsinah Coaching?
Coach Zara:
The belief that I have is that you have to have taqwa (God-consciousness). You need to be genuine.
With me, when something doesn’t sit right, I’m not going to follow that path. As much as it might be a good path and the path that everyone else is taking- if it doesn’t sit right with me, I’m going to pray istikhara (a prayer for seeking Allah’s guidance in decision making) about my decision, and then I’m not going to follow that way. I’m going to follow what sits right with me.
For example, I used to be on Instagram. I found that whole environment-I know it’s a beautiful environment, it’s a beautiful platform that Allah has given us as humans, I always try to look at the positive in things, I always try to look and be grateful for these things. It allows you to connect with people from all over the world, to know about your services, all of that is beautiful, -but for me, it doesn’t work for me. I had to take a step back from that.
It comes down to knowing yourself and being sincere with yourself. These are things that I try to stand by to the best of my ability. This is the philosophy or a belief that I try to hold on to: do what is right for you, each person needs to do what’s right for them.
Even when it comes to my coaching services, I know it’s not going to be for everyone. Even when it comes to my YouTube videos, I know it’s not for everyone.
But there’s a specific group of people that are going to benefit from what I have to say, and I’m going to show up for them.
Ruqayyah:
That’s definitely a way of being that is going to help you to make your work that much more impactful and meaningful, because of the fact that you’re not diluting it according to what’s going to get the most numbers, or what’s going to get you the most publicity. It’s about sincerity, which is something that you mentioned as well. I think that’s something that we can all take on board in sha Allah (God willing), as we are on these journeys.
What keeps you going on hard days?
Coach Zara:
On hard days, it’s only Allah, azza wa jal (Mighty and Glorious), that keeps me going. Remembering that this whole life, I feel we’ve forgotten our purpose. Our purpose is to worship Allah, that’s it.
When the days get hard, remind yourself that you’re insaan (human), you’re not supposed to have all the answers, you’re not going to be able to be the owner, and the king, and the queen, or whatever it is that we believe in our minds, that we are great. No, Ibad Allah – we’re servants of Allah. When you do feel heavy, when days are hard, when you can’t be bothered, because those days are going to come, there’s going to be days when you cannot be bothered, then you need to make dua. This is our weapon that we have as believers. You say, “Allah, this is how I feel,” and I know a lot of people laugh when I say this is how I speak to Allah- as Allah is my friend, if I don’t speak to Allah, who am I going to talk to about certain things.
There’s certain things I need to get off my chest, and Allah already knows what I’m thinking, and what I’m feeling, I have to speak to Him, even with little, little things, I find it funny, because I laugh to myself, I laugh to myself, somebody else will look at me I’m crazy, but I know that I’m speaking to my Lord, and I know that my Lord can hear me, and my Lord knows what I’m saying, even if I can’t even put it into words. Those days I’m like, ya Rabb, I can’t be bothered today, help me, give me the strength that I need. Allah loves this, Allah loves when we recognise our weakness, and recognise His power. He loves when we call upon Him, He loves when we ask Him. Why don’t we do it? He’s angry at the one that doesn’t ask Him. We’ve been given everything that we need, we’ve been given the blueprint, we need to apply it.
Ruqayyah:
It’s refreshing having this conversation so far, because of the fact that when you are leading something, you’re creating a movement, you’re doing something that does require effort. It does require you to put yourself out there, it does require you to speak. You were talking about at the beginning, that might not be who you are as a person, it might not be what you dreamed of doing, but it’s important to your mission.
The way that you answered that, it’s that the power is not with us, and it simplifies everything. It’s not about being all-powerful, it’s not about trying, as you said, trying to be the king or the queen of the kingdom. It’s about recognising who we are to the Creator, and through that, subhanAllah, He can bless us in ways that we couldn’t imagine. He can truly make, because of that sincerity, what we’re doing more impactful than we could even think it is. And impact doesn’t necessarily mean to reach every human, every being on the planet.
Coach Zara:
And there might be people that absolutely hate you, or what you’re doing, and they might slander you, they might put you down.
I always think of Bukhari- Sahih Bukhari, the famous Hadith book. In his time, there were other people collecting Hadith, there were other books out there, but why is it that his has lasted till this time? Because of the sincerity. At the time, there were people that were bad to him and harming him. But he kept on with his mission, because he believed in what he was doing, and till today, his work still reigns.
It’s not about what the people say, it’s not about what people think, it’s not about the views, it’s not about the likes, it’s not about all of this, it’s all about what Allah accepts.
Ruqayyah:
The example of Bukhari, I’ve never thought of it in that way, absolutely love that you mentioned that.
The stories I want to highlight in a content series that I’m doing about changemakers, and not necessarily in the business and marketing world, because I think that’s overdone- we’re going to look at other examples. We always get shown examples of, oh this person has got many followers, this person has built such a mass of wealth, but that’s not the examples that represents what we’re here for. That’s not our metric, why are we being shown these examples, why can’t we look outside of the box, and you did, giving us those examples that are much more meaningful.
Coach Zara:
I know it’s off topic, but I think another way to simplify things for us as believers, as people that are in the business world, is have one Qibla (direction). Because a lot of the time we have many goals that we’re trying to achieve, and there’s many intentions, right, but the simplest way for you to simplify things is, “I want to see the face of Allah, this is why I’m doing it,” and that takes out all the noise. Sometimes you’re going to doubt yourself and your intention, but if you make your Qibla, your one direction that you’re focused on, the face of Allah, it simplifies everything, and then everything else will fall under that umbrella.
Ruqayyah:
Where do you see your mission with Muhsinah Coaching taking you in the next five to ten years, in shaa Allah?
Coach Zara:
I like to dream big, honestly. I want the believing women to be the standard, we are the standard.
Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, has raised us to such a high degree. But when I look around and I see the Muslim women, the ones that do fear Allah, and the ones that do want to obey Allah, you don’t see them, and they’re not looked at as the standard in society. I want us to be the standard.
With Muhsinah Coaching, I want to help to train and develop as many sisters as possible to truly love themselves for the sake of Allah and take care of their holistic well-being, their spiritual connection with Allah, their mental state, their physical. Everything about their physical, whether it’s their health, beauty, the way that they dress, their finances, all of this to have a holistic approach to the well-being of a woman, that is the focus.
I hope that we can be the standard. I want the women that don’t have any faith or believe in anything to look at the believing women and be like, “I want to be them”. I don’t want it to be how it is now, where the believing women are looking at the disbelieving women and thinking, “I want to be them”, no, I want what Allah wants, which is the believing woman is the standard. That’s the vision that I have, and I ask Allah to give me this tawfeeq (success), because it’s a big vision.
I know that I cannot achieve it by myself, I need support. I need Allah to support me and send me a team that’s going to support the same vision. This is a collective thing, it’s not about me, like I said earlier, it’s not about me, it’s for Allah’s words to be the most high.
It’s bigger than one individual, that’s why before I was Coach Zahra, but I’ve (changed her brand name to) Muhsinah Coaching. It’s coaching women to a level of Ihsan (excellence) to be Muhsineen (people of excellence), women that are beyond the mediocre- reaching high, high levels. That’s the vision I have.
Ruqayyah:
I love the way that you’ve linked coaching the women one-on-one to that bigger mission. The narrative shift, and the idea of switching the example- it’s a very big thing. I love that you recognise that it takes two things- the one-on-one basis, and then also that you can’t do it alone, and even the way that you mentioned the name change to reflect that- how to make this real.
Coach Zara:
That’s it, and I’m going to die one day, someone has to take it over, because I want it to be a lasting legacy.
I want more women from each generation of people that live on this earth to benefit from this. It’s not about me now, me getting an income now, doing what I’m doing now. No, I have daughters, they can inherit this, or there’s other women out there that can say, “I love her mission, I want to stand for it while she’s dead,” do you understand?
Because I’m not going to be here forever, I don’t know if I’m going to be here in the next minute. That’s how I see it, it’s bigger than me.
Ruqayyah:
What or who has been your biggest influence on your path, creating this mission, and how do you think that’s shaped your journey?
Coach Zara:
All the prophets, every single prophet, because every prophet came to make change.
Every prophet saw that there were issues in society and they wanted betterment for the people. Every prophet came to try and help people to recognise and remember their purpose in life. And it wasn’t just about their spiritual well-being, it was about how can they live to the best of their potential in this world too. It’s a balance. It’s not about focusing (only) on worship, worship, worship, worship, worship. It’s about, everything is worship.
It’s about, how do I interact with my family? How do I interact with my neighbours? How do I be at my best? How do I look after my health? How do I spend my money? How do I earn my money?
All of these things. And they are the best example for us. We need to follow that example because these are people of Jannah (paradise). These are people that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala chose and selected. These are people that Allah loves, who is better to follow than them?
I used to, before Islam, birthday parties were something big for me, right? Every single year I had a party, a big, big party. I used to love birthdays. And when I came into the deen (followed Islam), when I realised that the people that I want to be – the prophets, they never celebrated their birthdays. As much as Muslims want to say, you can celebrate your birthdays, it doesn’t matter. There’s a lot of Muslims that try to tell you that you can celebrate your birthdays and whatnot. Even if there’s a difference of opinion, which I don’t believe there is, but let’s say for argument’s sake, there’s a difference of opinion.
When you look at the prophets, the people that we aspire to be, did they celebrate their birthdays? No. That was enough for me to say, I’m not going to do it anymore. And that was a big thing for me. That was a very big thing for me because I think I was 20 and my 21st was coming up. And for me, that’s my whole life I’ve been waiting for my 21st birthday to have a big party. But I had to look at what is it, what am I doing this for? What is the reason?
Did the prophets do this? No, the prophets are the example that I want to follow, because they’re the people that Allah loves, and they’re the people that are going to be in Jannah (paradise).
And that’s what I’m striving for. That’s what I’m trying to aspire for. That’s one example to put out there.
Ruqayyah:
What you explained about ibadah, that it does not only have to be about physically praying. I know I’m summarising your words now, but you said it can be in everything that we’re doing and the whole day. And I love that you mentioned that.
That’s something that I had to come to the realisation of when I was a new mom. That ibadah is not (only) when I’m sitting down with a book to study. It’s getting up and feeding these babies, ensuring the cleanliness of my house, taking care of myself. And I hadn’t heard that before. That’s why I love that you’ve mentioned it.
I hadn’t heard that on a mainstream level. I used to attend classes which weren’t necessarily specific to women’s topics. But I think that’s a big shift that we can have as Muslim women, especially being at home or maybe building a business from home as well, in that there’s many ways to remember Allah. There’s many ways to worship him. There’s many ways to make the most of your day without it meaning that you’re tied sitting down. Because obviously we do have lots of responsibilities to juggle, but it doesn’t take away from that mindfulness.
Coach Zara:
Even when you’re doing your work, for your business, that’s ibadah because you’re trying to earn a halal income. If your work is to help Muslims, and even if it wasn’t to help Muslims, even if it was to help other people, that’s still a service. That’s still ibadah. Even playing with your children, that’s ibadah. SubhanAllah, I had my nieces and nephews over and having that playtime, I was thinking, am I wasting time?
I thought, no, this is ibadah. making them smile, making them feel happy because you’re playing with them. That is ibadah, putting a smile on someone else’s face, uplifting someone.
There’s a hadith, I don’t want to misquote it, but it’s something along the lines where the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, says that, I’m paraphrasing here: I prefer to fulfil my brother’s need than to spend the whole month, was it, in ibadah, in the masjid? Sorry, please forgive me if I’m making a mistake, but something along those lines. And it shows that, you putting a smile on someone’s face, you uplifting someone, you benefiting someone, you helping someone, this is all ibadah. You might think, oh, I want to go and pray some voluntary prayers, and you might think that that’s better, but somebody might be in need of your help, and you taking that two seconds to help them, that’s ibadah.
You might think it’s a waste of time, but by you switching your intention and thinking, I’m doing this for the sake of Allah, let me help this person for the sake of Allah, it’s ibadah.
And another thing we have this mentality that doing something for the sake of Allah means you can’t charge. No, that’s not true. You can charge if it’s a service that you’re offering. You have every right to charge because you’re offering a personal service, and it can still be for the sake of Allah. Your intention, your niyah is still for the sake of Allah.
Ruqayyah:
What would you say, one piece of wisdom or advice that you’d share with someone who’s listening now, and they’re on a similar path, maybe in a different industry with a completely different type of service, but they want to create a meaningful change. What’s one thing that you would share with them?
Coach Zara:
I’d tell them to go for it, don’t hold back, because at the end of the day, you’re going to have regrets if you don’t do what you’re supposed to be doing. We all have a purpose here. We all have, our purpose, yes, we know, is to worship Allah, but we all have our individual calling.
We all have something that we know we’re supposed to be doing, and if you play it small, and you don’t allow yourself to do what you’re supposed to do, you’re always going to feel that regret. You’re always going to feel, “I should have, I should have”. You don’t need to wait. No one’s stopping you from starting. Start now.
It doesn’t matter how long it’s going to take before it becomes an established business, or before it becomes something big, but start. Everything has to start from somewhere.
At the bottom of my road, they’ve been building houses. I saw it when it was sand, the floor was sand. Now it’s a whole house. I’ve seen the progress over time, and that’s what’s given me much courage, I feel Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala placed that for me to see with my own eyes, because sometimes we need that visual example. I’ve seen brick by brick. Some days it’s a few bricks that they’ve placed, but now it’s a whole huge mansion. Where did it start from? It started from one brick. You have to put one brick down, and then you build from there, step by step, bit by bit.
The advice of Luqman to his son, “have taqwa wherever you are”, (which means) fear Allah wherever you are. This is the number one advice. Be connected to Allah. Be mindful of Allah. Be present of Allah. Stay within the boundaries. Do the halal. Stay away from the haram. If you have taqwa, you’re going to be able to get through anything.
Ruqayyah:
I love the point that you’ve mentioned about placing brick by brick. It’s not going to be what you want it to be immediately, but it will if you start and put that brick down. Yeah, I love that.
Jazakallah khair Zara for being here. I’ve absolutely loved this conversation with you, and all of the wisdom and insights that you’ve shared with us. It’s wonderful to get that background into how you got started, and I’ve loved hearing about your vision.
For anyone that is listening and resonating with what you’re saying, what is the best way for them to get in touch or see what Muhsinah Coaching is all about?
Coach Zara:
Currently I’m on YouTube @MuhsinahCoaching, you can find me there.
Ruqayyah:
Is there anything you’d like to add?
Coach Zara:
I wanted to say jazakallah khair to you. Thank you for having me on, and I appreciate the questions that you asked me. They were very, thought-provoking. May Allah put barakah in what you’re doing, because I find it amazing. I find it inspiring because a lot of the marketing and brand type of stuff that’s out there, a lot of it is very, very jarring, I think you come with a fresh approach of “do what you stand for, you don’t need to water down anything, or you don’t need to over-exaggerate anything.”
It’s: be you and let your brand represent you, which I love.
